Previously, on Dumbgeons and Dragons...
I'm not sure. It's very strange, but, you know, kind of fun. It's sort of what you want to happen in the big city, to be honest with you.
So where's the ledger now?
It's hidden.
Where?
In a bathroom.
Do what you want with the porn, guys, but we need the book. And you're gonna have to come with us, miss.
It's Glim.
Ah, crap.
Glim? Are you up there?
Hey, what's that?
It's Meemoot.
Uh, do you know a Meemoot?
Um, I know a moot.
Can you get us, um, these tools?
Ah, my head's not in the game. I'm worried about Glim in jail. It just all seems wrong to me.
Let's go talk to the warden.
Oh, Gabriel, it's a pleasure to see you. Who is your new friend?
This is Moot. Don't ask him to hold anything for you.
I think you have a friend of mine locked up in your jail cell, and I don't think she should be in there.
The justice system will have to take its place in this instance, and if truly your friend is found innocent, she will be released that instant.
First of all, your friend is not getting out.
No, it didn't sound that way.
And Ms. Man-Meow-Meow is probably not gonna send her to a labor camp.
Mm-hmm.
Let's go find you some thief's tools.
Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons. We are a D&D 5th Edition Actual Play Podcast, and I'm your dungeon master Russ More, and with me today is Amy More.
I am so enthusiastically here, and I am playing a halfling rogue named Sullivan's Light.
And Tom Laird.
Hey, I am also very enthusiastically here, and I am playing a wild magic half-orc sorcerer named Moot.
And Carla Johnson.
And I am obviously also very excited to be here. I play a dragonborn pAlydin named Glim.
What do we do after this? How's everybody doing?
Usually we've thrown you off by now with some inanity in the intro.
I would like to interject.
Oh, perfect. There we go.
Right on time, yep.
Yeah, I brought Carla some delicious pie earlier today.
It's true. Tom is so nice to me. It's amazing. He brings me all these treats.
If you go to our Discord, you can often see pictures of the nice things he bakes. Today he brought me a slice of delicious key lime pie.
I don't like key lime pie, and I'm so jealous right now.
It was very good. It was a very good summer dessert. Refreshing.
Right? Nice and cool. It's good.
If you want to see all those delicious things, I mean, you can come over to Discord.
Tom posts some sweet stuff over on Patreon, Patreon.com slash dumb dragoncast, including some of those recipes.
Yeah.
So you can come check us out over there. And when you are a patron, you get an episode dedicated to you.
Like today's patron, Carla and Nap, or Canap.
I don't think we ever figured it out if it was either or.
I don't think it's Canap.
Well, we're going to go nap.
Well, you guys, we're going to go nap.
Yep.
See you later.
Thanks, Carla.
Thanks for listening.
Yes. Thank you, Carla.
Thanks, Carla.
You're awesome.
Right?
Fuck it. Let's play D&D.
Our friends are in jail, Sully and Glim.
Moot, you were given, you and Gabriel had kind of decided that you should maybe go get some these tools after talking to Miss Mammyowmeow.
Yeah, she did not seem like she was on the up and up.
So yeah, let's pick up with Moot and Gabriel.
Where do we, where do we find these things?
Well, I have a friend who dabbles in some such things and may be able to help us acquire particular tools.
No time like the present. Let's go talk to this friend.
Alright, let's book it.
And when he says let's book it, he begins walking, you know, at a normal pace.
Does he just pull a book out of his pocket?
He saunters.
It's a brisk saunter.
But you're making your way through the streets of Neverwinter.
And we cut back to Glim and Sully.
So, first time in jail?
Yeah, it is my first time in jail.
Have you spent much time in these kind of institutions?
Well, not like this exactly, no.
Is this living up to your preconceived notions of jail?
Um, yes.
Would you say this is a regular jail or like a tough jail?
Seems pretty empty, other than us.
Yeah, I don't, it makes me think there's like no crime in Neverwinter, but that doesn't sound right.
But I don't know, I'm not from here, so.
Yeah, I don't feel like, um, it seems like law enforcement in this town is maybe not totally on the up and up.
You're probably, probably right.
Huh.
I mean, what really is on the up and up?
Like, describe up and up for me.
Well, where I'm from, I mean, people mostly obey the law.
And if they don't, then, then the people in charge are, are tough but fair and meeting out judgment.
And it just seems, seems like here they won't even, they won't even let me talk to anyone.
I mean, they know I didn't do anything.
I had the book.
That's, that's true.
But.
That sounds like you come from a very ideal, ideological place.
Ide, ideal, perfect place where people follow rules.
I do come from a very idyllic place.
You're right.
That's the word I was looking for.
You see, I haven't had any formal education.
Really?
You seem very smart.
Thank you, thank you.
I guess you must have been to that, um, what do they call it?
The, the school of hard knocks.
Is that where you got your education?
Uh.
You seem tough.
Oh, yeah.
Totally tough.
Absolutely.
So, uh, hey, how fast is your friend, uh, what was it?
Moob?
Uh, Moot.
Um, you know, we just met the other day so I'm not sure, but I'm really hoping he'll
come through for us because, yeah, things here are definitely not, not great.
Why would-
No.
Hmm.
Why do they want the book?
Did you look in the book?
What's in there?
Uh, well, you know, when I opened it up it was just like a bunch of stuff I
couldn't read.
Uh, and a language I didn't know, so.
Yeah, I tried too.
I thought maybe, maybe it was the language you understood, but no such luck, huh?
No, and, and to be honest, I, I didn't have it for very long before it ended up
in that, uh, that latrine in the bar there.
Right.
Yeah, I wasn't sure.
Seemed like you must have come.
So, why?
Hmm.
I have so many questions.
I guess when we get out of here, either by justice or because, you know, Moot
breaks us out, you want to go find your friend that you lost?
Yeah, you know, I, I haven't really had a friend in a while and, um, Merv,
he, like, he stood, you know, stood by my side for a little bit.
He, I mean, we only knew each other for a few days, but Merv was a good
guy, I think.
He was a fisherman.
All he wanted to do was fish.
Just didn't seem very fair.
I mean, I don't think it's very fair that I'm in here, but he definitely didn't
deserve to be in here.
I mean, like, I had done some stuff that probably should land me in here
at some point, but it was not something that they saw me do.
Right.
So, I don't, and I think that what happened to him is probably worse
than being in here.
Well, sounds like we probably should, should go get him then.
How did, you're not from here.
How did you, how did you get here?
Well, I fell asleep in the woods one day and I woke up here.
Huh.
They said that I, that I fought some guards.
Really kicked ass.
But, I don't remember that.
So, yeah, no, fell asleep, woke up in my cell.
Don't you think you better get home?
Like, won't your family be worried about you?
Uh, you know, I'm really like a lone wolf kind of guy.
Oh.
Okay.
I understand.
So, you hear the sound that you've become accustomed to of footsteps
coming down the hall, keys jingling in armor, clanging,
coming towards the door.
Oh, um, heads up here, Shimmer.
Okay, someone, okay.
Is that my best friend?
And we'll cut back to Moot and Gabriel.
You've weaved through some streets within Neverwinter.
You've crossed over one of the bridges.
And now you're in, um, an area of Neverwinter that you haven't been.
It's a little, um, grungier.
Not nearly as well kept as the area that you have kind of become accustomed to.
You and Gabriel come to a door.
It doesn't look like it's marked with any sort of shop name
or anything like that.
More of a, from what it looks like on the outside, a residence.
And Gabriel says to you, you gonna be cool?
I guess.
What do you mean by be cool?
Like, you know, not freeze his drinks.
Oh, well, if no one asks me to, then I won't.
Yeah, good point.
I did kind of ask you to freeze my drink.
Oh, wait, were you making a cold pun?
Was that what you were doing?
Am I gonna be cool?
Yeah, that's exactly what I was doing.
I'm glad you picked up on that.
No, that's really fun, Gabriel.
You know, that's me.
I am the punniest.
Well, should we, like, knock on the door?
What's the protocol here?
Yeah, just follow me.
And he begins walking up the stairs and knocks a couple times,
waits, knocks three more times,
and then gives a quick rap on the door.
Ooh, I love a secret knock.
You keep it to yourself.
Okay.
Moot pulls out his notepad
and writes down exactly what the knock was.
Gabriel looks over your shoulder, and as you finish,
he grabs the book and tears the page out
and hands it back to you.
Do you make him eat it?
I mean, I hope not.
He, like, puts it in his mouth.
Nope.
Just kind of crumples it up and puts it in his pocket.
He says, no notes on this trip here.
That's the first lesson.
No notes.
You can write no notes down,
but that's the last note you're allowed to...
I was gonna say, Moot pulls out his notebook
and writes, no notes.
That's the last note you're allowed to write,
and with that, you hear some muffled footsteps
coming towards the door,
and you didn't quite notice,
but a slider goes across the door,
kind of peephole level,
and you see a couple glowing golden flecked eyes
from beyond the door.
They look at you and Gabriel,
and then that slider closes,
and the door opens,
and you see standing before you
a deep purple-skinned tiefling
with horns that come out of the front of their head
and wrap around the ears at the back.
The tiefling in front of you has a bald head,
and those golden flecked eyes
that kind of glowed from beyond the door,
now you can tell that they are entirely black
with flecks of gold within them.
He looks rather well-dressed in a deep brown robe,
and he looks to you,
and then Gabriel says,
what brings you here, good friend?
Gabriel says,
well, I have a friend here
who needs some help.
He's got some friends up in the prison
with Miss Mam-Meow-Meow,
and we had a little meeting,
and it sounds like they might not be making it,
much beyond the next couple days at most,
so we're pulling one of the good old heists
of people from a prison.
A jailbreak.
Yeah.
No, people heist.
Yeah, that's what they call it back in my village.
Yes, yes, I see.
This kid, he's been, you know,
his naivete has been rubbing off on me here.
So tradition, of course,
I will wait out here.
Moot will go in to talk to you there, good sir.
Moot, this is Leydon Menda.
You tell him what you need,
and we will see if we can get your friends
out to sweet.
Okay, thanks, Gabriel.
Nice to meet you, Leydon.
Yes, yes, come in.
Come in, Moot.
Moot, was it?
Yeah, yeah, that's the one.
He steps aside and allows you through the door,
and you see Gabriel kind of take a few steps
and assume the position of a watch, more or less,
down at the bottom of the stairs.
Leydon closes the door behind you and says,
Come in, come in.
Just make your way down the hall there,
and inside you see very deep wooden walls,
like deep dark brown wooden walls.
You smell a very strong incense throughout the house.
Down the hall, you reach a door
that is kind of cracked open.
He says, just push through,
and we'll make our way downstairs.
You go down a narrow set of stairs
at the end of this hall
and make it down into a wide-open,
what looks like half storefront,
half alchemist's laboratory of sorts.
There's lots of beakers and different components
that you don't quite recognize.
Some plants and some herbs
that you've seen through the forest,
but a lot of things that look foreign to you.
And he says,
Well, it sounds like your friends are in a bit of trouble.
Yeah, it certainly seems that way.
If you ask me, it just seems like
they got put in jail for no good reason.
I mean, my one friend is a Dragonborn
who follows a Bahamut.
I don't think she's going to be out there
breaking the law, do you?
Really?
A Dragonborn following Bahamut?
Interesting.
And she's in jail.
Yeah, that's the crazy part.
Well, what do you need from me
in order to break them out?
I guess Gabriel said thieves' tools,
but I mean, whatever you have, really.
Okay, yes.
Will any of this cool alchemy stuff get the job done?
I mean, let's start with thieves' tools
and see where we get from there.
Some of this stuff is rather benign.
Others, please don't touch.
And right as he said, please don't touch,
Moot was reaching to touch something.
He had his back to you,
but you had a feeling that he knew
exactly what you were doing.
I'm surprised Moot hasn't touched stuff,
like wasn't running his hands along things
as he was walking down the hall.
He seems like the guy who touches everything
in the store as he walks past.
You see him walk to a bench
and reach up on a shelf,
kind of touch along a bunch of different cases
that he has up there.
Some leather, some cloth.
And he comes to one and stops at it,
pulls it out, unclasps and opens it up
and comes over and shows you and says,
this is your standard array of thieves' tools.
Are you going to be the one using them?
I mean, I've never used anything like that before,
but I'm pretty good with, you know,
like card tricks and stuff,
so maybe I could do it.
Interesting.
Okay, well, I'm sure Gabriel will assist
in getting them into the right hands.
He folds them up and goes to hand it to you.
What? Is that it?
Do you need anything?
Can I go? Like, time is of the essence here.
Time is of the essence, yes.
Gabriel knows the routine.
I'm sure he will fill you in after,
if he hasn't already.
Clearly, he hasn't.
No, is it like a dance routine?
You're an interesting fellow, Moot.
I've never, that's just the first thing
that popped to mind when you said routine.
I understand, I understand.
A five, six, 17.
It is not a dance routine.
Perhaps there will be something owed to me
in the future, either by you or by Gabriel.
But that is for you two to decide
and for me to call upon as I need.
Okay, I mean, that sounds great.
Good, good.
And he extends his hand a little further.
The thieves' kit.
Yeah, so I guess Moot grabs the thieves' tools
and turns around to shuffle back up the stairs real quick.
Says, we'll be seeing you soon, Moot.
Okay, bye.
You get back up and it's a straight shot out.
You get out to the front
and Gabriel has a drink in his hand.
It doesn't matter.
I've got the thieves' tools.
We've got to go.
All right.
Let's move.
Well, are you going to finish your drink?
Are you taking it with us?
What's happening here?
No, this one's coming with me.
All right.
Not so fast.
I don't want to spill it.
That's why I thought maybe you would just slam it
and then we could go.
You don't slam this year.
No, this one is a good one.
You want to have a sip?
Was it like seven?
Is that what year it is?
You're funny.
Boy, what's the year?
Seven.
You there, boy.
He drinks it a little faster
but continues along the way.
You're a few paces ahead of him
and you head back towards the jail.
Inside the jail,
the door unlocks and swings open
and you do see your friend,
Officer Tangrin, standing there, Sully.
Tangrin!
Buddy, what's up?
How's it going?
I look at Glim and I say,
he's a strong, silent type.
Yo, Tangrin.
So what's the word here, buddy?
Come on, we build rapport?
Sully, I've been asked to bring your friend
down to Miss Mam-Meow-Meow.
Oh, are they going to let her go?
Because she really doesn't belong in here, Tangrin.
Like, let me tell you.
It's entirely possible.
Is there another possibility?
The world is full of possibilities.
Sully, you know that.
Is it possible for me to come along?
Not today.
You just told me the world was full of possibilities.
Yeah, yeah.
That one I don't believe is entirely possible.
And he goes and looks at Glim
and says if you'd be so kind as to
put your hands through the bars.
Sure, yeah.
Slim, it's going to be all right.
You're going to be fine.
He shackles your wrists
and says please step back
and then unlocks the door to your cell
and it swings open and says
if you'd please follow me,
the warden would like to speak with you.
Of course.
Hey, tell Miss Mam-Meow-Meow I said hey.
She'll know what it means.
Officer Tangrin is behind Glim
moving her towards the door.
And closes the door behind
and Sully, you're left alone in the cell.
You walk down a series of hallways, Glim.
You walk down a long hallway first,
immediately coming out of the cell
and you see a large bay window
that overlooks a courtyard.
You take a left
and follow the hallway
all the way down to the end
where there is a large wooden door.
And Officer Tangrin knocks on the door
and you hear from beyond.
Yes, yes, come in.
He opens the door
and you enter into a very
lavishly designed room.
There are many
rich mahogany's.
Maybe, we don't know for certain.
Undetermined origin.
And many books.
And the chair swings around
and you see a rather large
tabaxi.
Would you have seen a tabaxi before?
A cat person before?
Um, maybe.
I feel like she's like
mostly familiar with most of the...
You did read that book.
Because people would have come through.
Right.
Okay.
You see a rather rotund
tabaxi in a
in a very
lavish
lavender blouse.
And she says,
Tangrin, just leave her with me.
You come back in just a few
and we'll have sorted most things out.
I'm sure.
Officer Tangrin leads you to the chair
in front of her desk
and then leaves the room.
And says,
I'm sorry,
the paperwork wasn't filled out quite right
when you came in.
Your name was?
Oh, my name is
Norixius Akra, but you can call me
Glim.
Of course, Glim.
My name is Miss Mam Meow Meow.
It's a pleasure to meet you.
Pleasure to meet you too.
You're the warden, I assume?
I am the warden.
I am in charge of
everything under these roofs.
You know, nothing goes on
except for clearly, you know, your name.
But that's why I have you here,
to figure out, A, what you're doing
hanging out with such scoundrels
like Sullivan Sleight
and what we can do
to help each other.
Oh, well, um,
I just met Sully
and I liked him.
I liked him right away.
I got a good feeling from him
and I like to trust my instincts.
And, um, yeah,
we had a drink and
I got that book from him
and then
here I am again, seeing him again
in jail. That's our whole
history, I think.
Hmm. And the book,
and the book, um,
it was in your possession.
Did you happen to read
the book?
Oh, well, I opened the book, but I couldn't
understand any of it. It wasn't
any language I've ever seen before.
Mm-hmm.
Okay. Well, that's,
that's, that's, that's good to hear.
Um, that book, um,
Sully, Sully as you
call him, stole it
from Lord Neverember
if you can believe such a thing.
Hmm. Well,
did he have a good reason?
This I am unaware of.
I was hoping maybe since you were friends
you'd, you'd, you'd have some inside
information on why
exactly he would do such a thing
of our dear lord.
Well, I mean, he didn't, he didn't share
any of that with me.
Like I said, we, we just met,
but I liked him. I liked him right
away. Didn't seem like
a scoundrel deep down.
Right. And you,
Glim, tell me a little bit about yourself. How long
have you been here in Neverwinter?
Oh, hardly any time at all. I just arrived on
a caravan. I've got a destiny
to save the world.
How dear, how precious
is that?
And here without any
friends other than Sully or family.
That just seems like a, something
that, that's a big,
that's a big task you have
ahead of you.
Well, I'm a follower of
Bahamad, so there are, there are many
of us around. I don't feel like
I'm really alone and I make friends
quickly. Excellent.
I feel like, I feel like we could become
very great friends if given different
circumstances, you not in shackles
on the side of, of
my, of my table here.
Well, I wonder if you could tell
me why I'm in shackles.
I, I know I had
stolen property, but I didn't know
it was stolen. It was just
a book.
This is true. My officers
are, they're
told to follow protocol,
which, given the, given the,
given the circumstances
surrounding the book and
how, how
important it is to our
Lord Neverember. Anybody
who came into contact with it
was to be brought in
mostly for questioning,
but also to be
arrested under the assumption that they
have taken it.
Well, now that you know that I didn't,
I guess I can
be free? Yes, yes, yes.
There's a, there's a little bit more paperwork
to do before we
can, before we can release
you. I hope you understand
that
just, we don't want
to, to, to have this,
have this incident take,
take a foul turn either way.
So, yes, we have brought you in.
Yes, we see that you are of pure
heart, follower of Bahamut.
And we, we
just have a couple more things to sort out
before we can release you, and then
absolutely you will be on your way
by morning. So, so
soon, I'll be able to leave soon?
Yes, yes.
Absolutely you will be
able to leave soon.
Is there anything else
you want to know, any other questions
you have?
I think,
I think you've answered most of the questions
I need answered.
And what's going to happen to Sully?
Sully will go through
the court system,
which may include a transfer,
but he, he's being charged
with, with high treason
in the city. Treason?
Not just simple theft?
What he stole
is of great importance
to Lord Neverember.
Hmm. Can you
explain the significance
of the book? I mean, if there's going to be a trial,
it's all going to come out anyway. Maybe you could just
satisfy my curiosity.
That, that, I would love to
satisfy your curiosity, but as these
investigations are ongoing,
I can't release all of the details at the moment.
Man, this is an act of
crime.
I understand
your interest in the matter, and
I'm sure everything will be made
clear tooth sweet, but you have
answered all of the questions I believe I need answered, and
I'll just call Officer Tangrin back in,
and he can escort you back to your cell.
In fact, we'll even get you
a lovely pillow along the way, just
to make sure that the rest of your stay is
as comfortable as possible, Officer!
Officer Tangrin comes
back in, and Miss Men-Meow-Meow
says, Officer Tangrin,
please escort
Miss Glim back to her cell,
and grab her one of the cushy pillows
from the
from the officer's lounge, just
to make sure her stay is as comfortable
as possible.
Officer Tangrin says,
yes, of course,
and
ushers you out.
Hey, it's the
middle now, and we're here, with you!
Say hi, everybody!
Hi, everybody!
I thought there was going to be a song
or something, but I like that we're switching it up.
Oh, yeah, that's good, yeah.
Gotta keep people on their toes is what we gotta do.
We're just going to let you know some things
that are going on that we're part of, and
that we're proud to be part of, and
that we want to just let
you know about. The International
Podcast Month 2019 is
coming up, and that is
in September!
International Podcast Month, celebrating creators,
sharing listeners.
That's it! Oh, that's fun!
Yeah, they're doing great things in that
they're bringing a whole bunch of different podcasters
together. I think their goals
here, I should have read this previously,
but last year they brought over
75 podcasters. This year
their goal is to bring over 100 plus
podcasters together. What they need help
with, though, is that
one person kind of organizes
this and runs it, so they're looking to
fund
that, so they have an Indiegogo going on
where you can
get them a small donation
that goes towards hosting fees
and graphics
and any time
spent, really. They do a lot of giveaways
throughout the month, so you can get stickers
and cool, different cool
stuff that they have going on
there. And they are
aiming to put out
over 100 episodes throughout the month.
Holy cow! And it's one person that does that?
One person that is the organizing
team. Last year she did mostly everything
by herself. She has a team of a few people
this year. That's what it is.
Yeah, that's way too much work for one person.
So there's a team of people, but yeah,
so what they're doing is they have the Indiegogo
to help put out these amazing
podcasts. They're doing
18 RPG one-shot
episodes, which I'm part of. I'm going to be playing
in a Honey Heist game, which is supposed to be super
fun, and I can't wait to do that.
I actually do that tomorrow as we record
this. But there are going to be 35
audio drama minisodes, five
more creator interview episodes,
ten or more non-fiction episodes,
and a whole bunch of blog contributions
as well. But they are looking to do some
huge stuff and need
your help a little bit. So if you want to listen
to a whole bunch of great stuff, of course it's all
free. But
if you want to support them,
we'll post that Indiegogo link down in
the description. If you can do that,
that would be amazing. Now we're going to get you
back to the episode. Get back there.
Bye! In the summer of
2013, my friends and I wanted to help
raise money for charity. So we decided
to play a game of Dumbgeons and Dragons
live at the Rooster Teeth Fan Expo.
We raised a ton of money for charity
and everyone had a wonderful time.
So now we play every week. And our
podcast, Dungeon Drunks, was
created. We chat about what we're
drinking, we roll a lot of dice,
we laugh a lot, and we
generally just have a lot of fun playing Dumbgeons and Dragons.
So join us every
Monday. Check out our website at
DungeonDrunks.com, find us on Twitter
at Dungeon Drunks,
and subscribe to us on your favorite podcasting
app. See you next encounter!
Also, there is a door off to
your right before you get to the turn.
And he says, just
wait here one moment. He opens
the door and says, hey, pass me a
pillow. And then a pillow
flies out of the room at him.
He closes the door and ushers you
further. You turn right
at the bay window and head back
down to the cells. He opens the door,
ushers you in, and
hands you the pillow and
locks the
door to your cell and
begins to head back out.
Hey, hey, hey, can I get one
of those? I have a feeling like I'm seeing a little bit
longer. It might be a better use than my cell.
I will ask
Ms. Ma'am Meow Meow.
You know what, man,
Tangerine, the
sound of your voice says you're not gonna.
You're not wrong, Sully.
Alright. Hey, it never hurts to ask
though, right?
It never hurts to ask.
And he walks out
and closes the door.
So, what'd the fat cat have to say?
Well, I mean,
it sounds like she understands that
I didn't know it was a stolen book
and that there's just some more paperwork to
do and then I'll get to
be released in the morning, but
it sounds like things are a bit more
serious for you.
You'll be here for a while and you might
get transferred and go through
the court system.
You know what they mean when they say
transferred, right?
Um, I mean, I assume you'll go to a
different facility, not just the
town jail, something, some sort of county
prison, perhaps?
Sure, yeah, something
something else, something
not of this world.
Oh, you think
they mean to hurt you?
Well, yeah.
Do you see anybody in these jail cells?
Well,
no, but I just thought
I have a feeling
like not many people stay here long
term. I think they all get
transferred.
He's totally doing air
quote.
Well, do you think
so, will there be a trial?
Trial for what?
She told me to steal the book.
Why did she tell you to steal the
book?
Maybe you could explain to me what's happening.
Well, I can't really.
I mean, you're in my situation.
You strike a deal with the warden.
You just kind of hope that she follows her on
her side. I follow her on my side.
But, you know, Merv
ended up getting stuck through some sort of portal
and here I am about to get transferred.
So she asked you to steal that book
from Lord Neverember.
Asked, demanded.
Potato, potato.
Huh.
Well, I mean, you had to do it then.
It's not like you had a choice.
Well, yeah, and then I bet she doesn't
want that coming out in any sort of trial.
Not that anyone would believe a
lowly thief anyway.
But,
still wouldn't be good press for her.
No.
No, I imagine not.
Well, she seemed
suspicious.
I guess that's why.
She's, she's a bad
person, isn't she?
Oh, yeah.
Huh.
Like, not that I'm,
you know, got an
untarnished halo
or anything myself, but
I have
loyalties and values
and other words like that
that regular good people have.
Back outside.
Moot, Gabriel.
You have come to
the rescue.
The rescue. No.
You have made your way.
No, it's not going to be that.
Well, I mean,
that's the hope, I think.
On everybody's behalf.
But you are across the street from
where you knew,
where you were speaking with Sully.
And
and
Gabriel never really asked you
if you got what you needed, so he asked
you now. Hey, did
Leydon give you exactly what you
were looking for? Yeah.
That's why we hustled on out of there.
Cool. And did he mention
anything?
I asked
because he said something
about the routine, which turns
out it's not a dance routine.
But he said
that he said that you would know
the routine.
Yeah, well, yeah.
Well, I'll sort that out
with Leydon at once we get
this sorted out. Yeah. Seems seems one
sorting is probably good
for now. Perfect. Okay.
So we need to get those thieves tools
up to your friend who needs the thieves tools.
Yeah.
Russ, how high
up is the window?
Second story.
So you're looking at
six between the 16
to 20 foot mark ish. Okay.
Yeah, I guess it depends if they got those 10
foot ceilings or not. Well, you know, there's probably crawl
spaces and stuff. Oh, sure. Yeah.
Vent system, et cetera. Something John
McClain can ramble through. Yep.
Exactly. Ramble.
Gabriel, do you
do we know? Can you teach me
anything? Like, is there a way that we can get
these thieves tools from here
up to there?
I did teach you lobster claw.
Oh, lobster claw.
That's right. But then you made so much fun of me.
I forgot all about it.
Yeah. Maybe you think like
that spell was useless. I mean, yeah.
I never wanted to cast that
again after the ribbing that I took.
Well, I mean,
we just figured out, you know, how you
view your appendages. That's all.
I just it was the first thing.
Anyway, let's not rehash that. It's
gone and done with.
He's a lobster trapped inside a man's
body. It's a real Zoidberg situation.
Okay.
Okay. I will I will try
to get these from here
up to there, I guess.
Hello. Hello. Jail
person.
You make your way across and call up
and Gabriel says just try
not to be, you know, too loud
as we are in the middle of a
street. Oh, sure. Fortunately,
it's it's nighttime. But yeah, it's just
I'll keep an eye out. You do your thing.
Glim. Glim.
I can't hear right because I'm like
a cell away. Yeah.
The other person.
Are you there?
The person with Glim.
I think
your guy's here. Is your name Glim?
Yeah, Glim.
That's me.
Okay. If Moot's here, ask
him. Ask him
if he if he if he got the thieves
tools. We did
ask him to bring those, right? I didn't dream that.
I do. I shoo man over
to the window. Literally just like
ha ha ha. And
there was no
video. There's no video.
It was good. And
I say, hey,
you got the stuff.
Oh, hey, other
person. Yeah. Yeah, I got it. I'm going to
I'm going to try to get it up to that window for
you. You got
to go throw?
Sure. All
right, Major Lee. Let's do this.
I'm sure there's a Major
Lee. Yeah, the Major Jambler Throwers.
Yeah.
He
MLJT.
You got it.
Okay, Russ, I want to
cast Mage Hand.
All right. Oh, yeah. Stuff's
happening, you guys. I'm stuck
in Sullywood.
So, I mean, you've technically
cast Mage Hand, so we can say that you cast
Mage Hand. Now, it's going to be up to you
how that Mage Hand looks now.
So, maybe describe
to me. Let it be a lobster claw.
I mean, I want it to be a
lobster claw so badly.
I mean, it can be.
Those pinch hard. Like, I don't think it's
like you drop anything. Yeah, but
I don't know. After the whole thing,
you know what? We're going back for the lobster claw.
It's happening.
So, it's
a cantrip
verbal somatic.
So, you just tell me what you
do and how you do it and what your
Mage Hand looks like.
I kind of shoot a little, like,
glance at Gabriel.
And I say
He looks back at you and he sees that look
in your eyes. He mouths,
Don't do it!
And he
holds up his hand and just kind
of wiggles his fingers.
So, yeah,
just to fuck with Gabriel,
Moot casts Mage Hand
in the form of a floating
lobster claw. Just for
like two seconds and then lets
it dissipate.
And casts Mage Hand
with a real human hand.
He looks at you
and he kind of points at you
and he's
verbal, you know, showing you that
he might be laughing, but his eyes say
that he's not laughing.
Well, I guess I just said that he would cast it as the form
of a human hand, but of course it would be a half-orc
hand, because that's what he's used to.
That's true, yeah.
So, yeah, you absolutely
are able to do that.
So, this floating hand,
I get it to
grab the Thieves' Tools
from out of my open palm.
Mm-hmm.
And I'm going to get it to
float on up to that window.
Maybe a little bit inside of it.
It floats on up
and, Sully, from your
side you see a
spectral
glowing, what color is it?
It is a pale yellow.
A pale yellow
spectral floating hand that comes up
that has a case in it.
And it gets the
bars and kind of, like, stops
and, like, hits
on the bars, like it's trying to
get through, but it's long ways, and
it can't quite make it.
And then the hand
turns it and pushes
it through the bars.
Well, like,
does it just fall?
Nope, there is a hand holding
it in front of you.
By the tits of Bahamut!
Good God!
I take
the
thieves' tools from the hand
and I go to, like, shake it.
And I can't see what's going on
so I just
whisper up, like, do you have
the thing?
Oh yeah, I got your weird
smoky hand stuff.
Okay, perfect. And I let the hand
dissipate.
And it poofs into a
yellow smoke.
Well, he backs up. He's like,
oh God.
Oh God, Glim, did you see that? Holy shit!
Sorry, down on the ground, Gabriel's like
hey, uh, moot!
NonchAlydint!
As you see a couple
town guards kind of walking
on patrol down the
street. Moot's like, quick, make
out with me! Cause that's what people do, like
on the side. Right?
And other people just walk right past.
My God, Glim,
did you see that? I know, he's magic,
isn't it? It's pretty cool, right?
That's fucking terrifying. Alright,
let's do this shit. You ready? Well,
let's take a minute.
I'm supposed to get out in a couple
hours, so does it make sense for us to break
out now or should we wait until I get out
and then you
use the tools and then I can be waiting
on the other side to help you?
Or what do you think?
Ah, you're so sweet, you think you're getting out.
Alright, I can come back in a couple
hours.
Well, do you think, do you think
she's not gonna let me out?
Honestly, no, I don't think she's gonna let you
out. Cause now I know
about the book.
Now you know about the book.
She asked me if I knew why you had
stolen it, but I didn't know,
so I didn't, you know,
tell her it was cause you told, she told you
to, but
I guess she probably thinks that I know
that.
Yeah, probably. I mean, we have been sitting
here just gabbing like girlfriends.
Hmm.
Okay.
Well,
how often does a guard come
around?
Well, about every couple hours
or so. Oh, so we won't be
seeing him for a while.
Yeah, I hear they got all sorts of really good pillows
and towels in that guard's room.
I mean, this is a nice pillow.
And I hold up the pillow.
Well, I think you should bring that with you.
Yeah, souvenir.
So, can you use those tools
to get us out of here?
Oh,
oh, my shiny friend.
I was born with these tools in my hands.
So, once we get out of the cell,
do you remember the layout
out there, or did you just
wake up, you know, how much have you moved
around this place?
Well, I've gone under the building before
because I had to go and
steal a book for
a big cat.
So, you know.
So, you know the way out. I know the way out.
Okay.
Well, then I think
we better get out of here.
Let's do this thing.
Alright, I'm going to use my thieves' tools.
Must I roll 20?
Yeah, that's going to be
a sleight of hand
check.
11.
Rolled a 2, you guys.
Oh, no.
So, tell me how
Sully goes to
attempt to unlock
this.
I think he makes the mistake of trying to unlock
it from his side.
From the
inside.
Okay.
Yeah, you
put the tools in.
There's a small hole.
Not keyhole sized. Very small.
And
only one of them really fits.
And it takes you much longer
than usual before
you realize that you're doing it
on the wrong side.
Alright, so now that I've shown you what not to do.
Oh, Amy.
It's a 1.
Oh, my God.
That's a 10.
So you reach around
and
put the
tool,
the two tools,
into the lock.
You hear them begin to click
and then
you hear footsteps
coming down the hall
and it startles you.
And you pull your hands back
in, but one of them kind of gets
caught and one of the tools
kind of like
slingshots down
a couple cells and it bumps
along the side.
Of the side.
Son of a motherfucking bitch!
Act cool!
And I like, hide the tools.
You don't want to know where.
And I
just start talking to Glen.
So then I said to her,
I said, well, you know what?
This pony is only half the size of me
so I don't even think you can technically call it a pony.
The door opens while you're saying
that and when an officer
who you've seen but
don't really know, just kind of
seen him passing, kind of pokes his head
in and says, keep it down in here.
Well, sorry Officer Davis.
That's not
it doesn't matter.
Bradley?
Closes the door.
I think it was Kent.
Okay.
I'm down a tool.
I thought you said you were really good at this.
Yeah, I know, I'm just really
nervous.
Within the case,
the kit itself, there are multiple
tools, not the exact ones you need,
but some that you know you could probably
fashion.
With what I have here, let me try again.
With a different dice.
Okay, alright.
Sixteen.
So you grab another,
the same tool that you had that you didn't lose
and another tool and
begin to work it again and it takes you quite a while
because the one you're using
isn't quite exactly how you're
supposed to, what you're supposed to be using when you do
this, but it,
after a couple minutes you hear
the sweet
sound of a large click
as the lock turns
within
and the bars disengage.
I slowly
swing my door open just enough
for me to
get out because I don't want to risk a big creek.
There is a slight
creek, but yeah, definitely a good idea
not to do that.
You slip through the bars and you're now
in the hallway between the cells.
I
stand for a moment
and I look at Glim
and I look at the door
and I look at Glim
and I look at the door
and then I look at Glim
and I'm like, oh god.
Okay.
And I go and I free her with a now
twenty. Oh, it was so close to you guys
with a 19. Oh!
With a 28.
So while you're doing this
looking forth look, you've actually gone and picked up
the correct tool that you've flung across
the room. Right, that's what I was looking at.
Absolutely not considering leaving without her.
I was considering the tool.
But then you go over to her cell door and
it
like muscle memory, this one
unlocks very quickly for you and the bars
disengage.
Alright, you're really big.
Can you
be quiet?
I can be quiet
and I also try to like
you know, I also only open the door
as big as I need to, but
I am pretty beefy.
Which is all the way.
There is a
much
louder creak
but as you kind of pause and go through
you don't hear
any footsteps from beyond the door
and you also make your way
out of your cell.
I run back and I grab her pillow.
Alright, let's go.
Outside,
Moot and Gabriel
are standing in the street.
Gabriel says to
Moot, so what's the plan
if they
actually make their way out?
You should probably find like a get away
get away kind of ride.
Yeah, that's
that's a really good idea.
What do you think? What do you have in mind?
We're a couple
of streets down. You know what?
Follow me. This is going to be a lot of fun.
Okay.
You guys head off down the street
and you round
a couple corners and you see a
whole line of carriages
and down at the end
you see a big stable
filled with horses.
Do you know how to hotwire one
of these things?
Do I know how to
hotwire one?
You feed it oats. You feed it, you give it oats.
Oh, okay. That sounds easy.
Okay.
You get down to the
end of the hall. Who's leading this
escapade? I think I am.
Yeah, I think so too.
I go up to the door and I test the handle
to see if it's locked. It is locked.
Alright, I am going to roll a nat
20.
Okay, it's only a 6 but that's a 15.
Yeah,
it's not any real
issue to unlock it.
And you hear the lock disengage.
And I open it open a little
bit and I peek out.
And I'm pretty sure in the thieves
tools there is a small
mirror that I
use to look around the corner.
You see down a
dark hallway. It's torch lit.
It's the quietest
you've seen this hallway. But you watch
for a second and then you see a guard
walk down the end of the hall
from like right to left.
So walking towards where you know Ms. Mam
Meow Meow's office would be.
Can they please have a pretty
pretty woman moment?
Like is it in a snap case?
I feel like we've done that
in another episode.
Oh man, we probably have.
It's entirely possible.
Damn it.
We're always full of such good ideas.
I've run out of jokes you guys and tapped out.
We need to go see more
movies.
Call her a stallion.
Sure did.
I think Sally has a problem remembering names.
I think so too.
Anytime you say she like
swivels around on her chair, I expect
her to be holding a cat.
Totally.
That's what I picture, which is
strange.
She is the cat.
Is she petting herself?
Maybe.
I'd just like to say the amount of French
you're throwing into this game is just
like, très bien.
Two characters have
tooth-sweeted it already.
Perfect.
It's very French.
We're getting multicultural
over here bitches.
We really want to hit the Quebecois
market hard.
The songs
Nowhere Land, Echoes of Time,
Spider Eyes, and Anguish
are by Kavin McLeod of
Blackjack.Filmmusic.io
Licensed under Creative Commons
by Attribution 4.0
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